My pastor asked the other day if anyone was nervous about witnessing. I shook my head yes and he immediately singled me out and asked why. (I am not mad at my pastor, I'm just telling the story.) Well, the main reason is because I have a fear of speaking and now he was making me speak in front of the congregation (we are a small church at least). I also have a fear of rejection (I know they are not rejecting me but Christ), I am worried they will ask me something and I stumble, or they will just flat out tell me I am stupid.
I want to speak boldly for Christ. I long to speak in front of other without panic attacks (which actually did happen to me in college - hence my huge fear). I love to write, but refuse to tell anyone besides my wonderful husband (I know you are the only one reading this honey which makes me love you even more because you take the time to do so - XOXOXO). I am so scared someone might ask me something about what I have written and I just stand there unable to open my mouth.
I know I should be leaning on my favorite verse that I can do all things through Christ (Phil 3:14) and that my God has not given me a spirit of fear (2 Tim 1:7), but when I think about standing in front of a group and opening my mouth I literally feel like my heart will jump out of my chest.
Verse for today
Phil 1:14 "And many of the brethren in the Lord, waxing confident by my bonds, are much more bold to speak the word without fear."
To speak boldly without fear is such not possible without confidence. Not in ourselves, because without Him we are nothing. We have to believe His truths. If we don't speak for Him, and are doing so out of fear, it is like saying we don't believe the Bible. We have to have confidence in Him. Confidence He will give us the words to say, the answers to questions, the love for others, and the ability step out and win souls for Him. Confidence in Him alone. We don't need confidence in ourselves only in the One who provides.
I am usually an old fashioned hymns girl, but I can only think of one song "Give Me Words to Speak" by Aaron Shust.
Calloused and bruised
dazed and confused
My Spirit is left wanting something more
Than my selfish hopes
and my selfish dreams
I'm lying with my face down to the floor
I'm crying out for more (crying out for more)
Chorus:
Give me Words to speak
Don't let my Spirit sleep
Cause I can't think of anything worth saying
But I know that I owe You my life
So give me Words to speak
Don't let my Spirit sleep
Every night, every day
I find that I have nothing left to say
So I stand here in silence awaiting Your guidance
I'm wanting only Your voice to be heard
Let them be Your Words
Let them be Your words
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/give_me_words_to_speak_lyrics_aaron_shust.html
All about Aaron Shust: http://www.musictory.com/music/Aaron+Shust
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/give_me_words_to_speak_lyrics_aaron_shust.html
All about Aaron Shust: http://www.musictory.com/music/Aaron+Shust
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